It simply shocks me how it’s been almost two years since I last wrote. Looking back, I can’t believe how much my life has changed in a mere 600ish days. Since April 2011, I’ve graduated, worked for a year, passed my registration exam, moved back to Tanzania, lost my last grandparent and got engaged (that’s right, Bridezilla is finally on the loose!) I’ve now moved on from drowning in books to floating in wedding planning.
The idea of love and marriage always used to astound me. There were always two conflicting ideas: the filmy “you had me at hello”, Jerry Maguire or Notebook kind of love and then the arranged, love grows with time and after marriage kind of love. It seems to be quite a cultural conundrum, which I’m sure many of you can relate to. It’s an issue of expectations, both your own and of those around you. Whilst going through the rather tiresome process of meeting people through the “arranged” channel, I always used to wish that I ‘d found Mr. Right on my own and in Disney fashion of course. By the end of my pre-reg year, I’d reached boiling point, and simply could not take any more nagging, or any more Mr. Totally Wrongs. It’s when I decided that I wanted to live and enjoy my present instead of constantly focusing on the fact that it looked like I was going to end up old and alone. And then…everything changed, Mr. Right sent me an email.
In totally “You’ve Got Mail” style, we exchanged emails and did everything the wrong way round, and at totally the wrong time for us both. It was like a typical Dar es Salaam road – bumpy. But there was something different: all of those people who said I would just know when it was right, weren’t actually insane! Meeting Q for the first time, after 3 months of virtual communication, was awkward yet comfortable. We knew each other well, but not at all in person.
So in some ways, you could consider this a very old style, typical arranged union. But Q likes to describe us as the modern traditional couple: begun in an old-fashioned way but evolving in a contemporary way. It is all about fusion these days, whether its food, fashion or marriage. I think the key thing is to be open, to decrease expectations and appreciate what comes your way. What I thought was beyond my wildest dreams, is nothing compared to my reality. There isn’t anything I would change, both good and bad. From the late night arguments and distance, to the most perfect proposals and surprises that I just love to hate. I know, it’s enough to make Romeo and Juliet cringe but the point is to be open- to people, to new ways and change and to love.
